IT'S A SAD DAY FOR THE MATAMBOS

We knew something was wrong by the way Augustine climbed the stairs. He began by saying that Bridget was too upset to come over with him. What could be wrong? It seemed to take forever to finally discover the reason for their gloom. Naomi decided to go back to the compound to live with her family. Back to a life of hard labor, leaky roofs, little food, and lousy education. For Augustine and Bridget, this was an enormous disappointment.

They love Naomi very much. I was homeschooling her along with my children to get her caught up academically to age level. At fifteen, she barely reads, has little to no comprehension of what she does read, and her math skills are that of an American first grader. Caylie out performs both Farai and Naomi in math and reading. Augustine and Bridget had talked with Naomi's mother about her education and the opportunity available for her to work with our children. At the time, her mother was happy for her daughter.

But a new life means new changes. There is no supervision for kids in the compounds. Although their days involve back-breaking work, they are free to roam and socialize while completing their chores which often leads to life-changing consequences. There are no security walls or watch dogs like we have here. Many children who call the compounds home, wander with others until late at night or early hours of the following morning. Family rules are non-existent.

Any American teenager would find it difficult to make such a drastic transition; but Naomi's decision was rather unexpected because of the harsh conditions she returned to.

I was somewhat surprised that her mother even considered allowing her to live in another family to begin with simply because a fifteen-year old girl adds much needed assistance to a widowed mother of ten. Please do not misunderstand me; I am NOT doubting her mother's love. I do not pretend to relate to a mother so impoverished that feeding and educating her children requires one or more of them be placed in other families. I live a very privileged life and I know it.

I can enjoy homeschooling and watching my children discover the world around them because I am not completely consumed with tasks required to keep them fed, dry, and educated. I hope to never become so narrow minded that I would pass judgment on another mother who does not share the same luxuries.

Adoption is a brand new concept to most African nations and Zambia is no exception. Adoptive parents around the globe have many resources available to help them prepare and understand what their new family member(s) experience as they are moved from one life to another even if that is still in the same country. I devoured books and experiences from parents who had been there done that.

Bridget and Augustine had no such books or training and are therefore taking Naomi's move personally. They are heartbroken over it. They had brought her in as their own daughter. Instead of doing hours of chores, they placed her in our homeschool so that she would have a better education and all of the opportunities that come along with it.

We have seen many families who inherited children from dying or poorer than poor relatives. Most are treated as unpaid servants in their new homes. This wasn't the case for Naomi. But she missed her family and her way of life.

Augustine compares their experience with Naomi to that of our Sierra Leonean children which is hardly fair to her or to them. He sees who Isata, Shauna, Steven, and Sia have become after YEARS of living in our home within our family structure. I tried to explain that our children, particularly Isata grieved for months after joining us but they didn't have birth families living within a forty-minute walk to run home to. Our situation is completely different.

Please join us in praying for encouragement for this family. They are Augustine, Bridget, and Farai. I know they have become dear to many of you, as you have come to know them through my writings. It brings them much comfort to know that you will all be praying for them. Me too!

Blessings and joy,
Beckie